I miss you

My mother passed away on March 9th.2010.   It was unexpected and very fast.   Her bowel ruptured.  Although there was a great effort to save her at the hospital. Initially it looked like she might pull through,  but within a few hours she developed sepsis.  Mom died less than 24 hour from the time she got to the hospital.  I guess the blessing in this is that she did not suffer. 

The ones that get left behind are the ones that are suffering.  Even though I live right next to my parents, I did not get to see my Mom before she died.  I was in Hawaii visiting my daughter.  When your cell phone rings at 2:30am, you know it's bad news.  We were able to get the first flight home.  As we landed in Phoenix to get our connecting flight my sister called to tell me she was gone.  I did not get to say goodbye.  My sister, Laura, was with Mom as she took her final breath.  Laura still wakes up crying. 

 My Dad has it the worst. Mom was 15 and Dad was 17 when they started dating. They they dated for 2 years and have been together ever since.  They were married for 54 and he is lost without her. 

Mom sometimes drove me crazy, I guess it is a mother - daughter thing.  I regret every time I ever got frustrated with her and I wish I could relive every single one of those moments.  I had no idea our time together was almost gone. I  hope she knows how much I love and appreciate her.  She was always there for me even when I didn't deserve it.  I will think of you every single day Mom. 

People always say loss gets easier with time.  I hope that is true.   Mom I miss you and will love you always.